Forgiveness - Plan•Act•Learn

Posted by Julette Millien at 12/11/2009 1:16 PM
Categories: Forgiveness Process
Tags: learn plan act PAL
Planning, Acting and Learning (PAL)  (see last blog entry for overview of PAL) is required for ALL activities.  So why not for the act of forgiveness?

To be successful at anything in life, we have to do what is required to make it happen in the way we envision.  We don't want to set out on a journey and then discover we are ill-equipped to complete it. Preparation and  planning is essential.

So with forgiveness, planning would entail some reflection.  You want to be still, get quiet and clear about what you're hoping to accomplish.

What do I really want with this process of forgiveness? What is my purposeand intention?
What do I want to see happen for me and for the other person?
How will I approach this - ceremoniously or actually?
If so what's my medium of communication, location, etc?
What's the plan if something unexpected happens?

After reflecting  on these and other questions of your choosing, it's a good idea to write a few of your thoughts down and see where they lead.   Writing is therapeutic and enlightening.  Even more clarity about your plan will unfold as you write.

  Then, taking action.  There really isn't much to say about this step.  You simply have to take the action you planned to take.   If not, you have a nice lovely plan with no air or life in it.

Take action when and how you intended. Forgive the person.  Say out loud if this is being done ceremoniously. 

Place a seat to represent the person in front of you and say "_______, I forgive you and release you from ALL blame.  I will not carry a grudge about this matter any more.  I take responsibility from this point on for how I choose to understand and feel about what has transpired.  You will not be blamed anymore."

Sometimes in person, if the person was unaware of how you have responded to the situation, this forgiveness process may open more wounds than intended.  So KNOW your situation and the person involved.  Do what is best for your particular situation.  Sometimes they don't even need to be involved as forgiveness is primarily for you in any case.

If the real situation is known to all and the forgiveness would be understood and appreciated, then by all means, involve them in the process.

Once the decision is made to forgive, you have started the process.  The planning and action are the actual steps you take to make it real in your life.

However, this is not the end of the process, it is actually the beginning. Because the LEARNING step in P•A•L is where the healing continues and the forgiveness action takes hold.

What do you need to learn? After any major action is taken in life, we need to look back and grab the lessons learned.  This will cut down significantly on the number of mistakes we make again and again in life. If we would just learn our life lessons the first time, so much of life is left to be lived at a higher and more joyous level.

So how do you do this? Look back at what took place and your reactions.  Were you surprised at some of your reactions?  Would you have handled anything differently? How so? What are you most proud of with how you managed this process? A key during this step is to focus your attention on YOU.  Often we want to fix everyone else when really it's only our own self we can change.

To take your learning to another level, think of how others can benefit: Think about ways to apply what you’ve learned. 

Who can you help with forgiveness? 
Which of your friends can you start a dialogue with on the subject? 
Who seems weighted down with past hurts?
How can your business benefit from a forgiveness mindset?  
Which segments of your community needs to be forgiven or needs to be apologized to? 

You don’t have to start immediately but it is important to look forward to stepping out into the world (starting with your family perhaps), and sharing this knowledge.  You now have a new life skill and helping others would be a wonderful way of getting even better at it.

Planning taking action and then learning is a powerful 3-step success strategy for any undertaking.  Apply to your forgiveness journey and you'll be amazed at how much further you go in less time.  Make a plan, take the action and then learn the lesson. 

I wish you an abundance of peace, joy and love,
Julette Millien
♥~


 

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