"I am so sorry for not being the person you met!"

Posted by Julette Millien at 7/7/2009 5:31 PM
Categories: Apologies
Tags: apology asking for forgiveness

This letter below hit a nerve.  When it was shared with me, I knew immediately that this experience of being one way in a relationship and then another is something many of us go through...from one perspective or another. 

It's not as intentional as it appears. Perhaps by reading this, you might see the behavior from a less pained perspective.

Everyone wants to be seen in the best possible light!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Pat,

 

I owe you an apology.  If ever a person deserved an apology, you do. 

I am so sorry for not being the person you met.  Really I am.

 

I had the best intentions.  I honestly didn’t mean to fool you.  I wanted to be the best I could be and you gave me that opportunity.  You saw in me the best there was of me.  For that I will always be grateful because for 8 months I’ve had the chance to be the person I only dreamed about being.

 

You see I grew up thinking I was a waste of God’s time.  Why would he make someone who served no purpose? I didn’t seem capable of doing anything right.

 

Then you came along and said I had a gorgeous smile and made you feel good about being alive.

That blew my mind. So I grabbed the opportunity to be all I ever dreamed I could be.

 

It wasn’t a conscious decision to fool you; it was just me running away with feeling good.

 

Then, the usual fears started to creep back into my mind and heart. I started to feel like an imposter.  I guess because in a way I was.

 

But was I really?  It just felt so good to be loved and appreciated. To be thought of as necessary.

 

Anyway, I just want to apologize for fooling you so well for so long. Now that you see my fears and my anger – hurt really, it just looks like anger.  But now that you see it all, I know you must think the worst of me.

 

I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to mislead you.  I really wish I was that happy, peaceful, whole and lovable person you met.  Maybe one day.  Today I’ve got issues to resolve.

 

So, I offer my deepest apology to you.  Please know I will always love you for helping me to feel lovable.  Thank you for seeing the best in me.  Maybe now or one day  I might see it too.


Take good care and love always,

XXX

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Has this ever happened to you? Either of the roles? 

People very seldom sit around planning to deceive.  It usually happens as part of an attempt to be loved.

Forgiveness can take this relationship to a whole other level. But that's another story!

Wishing you an abundance of love and light,

Julette Millien

 

What did you think of this article?




Trackbacks
Trackback specific URL for this post
  • No trackbacks exist for this post.
Comments
Display comments as (Linear | Threaded)

Leave a comment

 Name

 Email (will not be published)

 Website

Your comment is 0 characters limited to 3000 characters.