C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S!!!

You have completed the 21 Days of Action with Forgiveness program and here are some thoughts on next steps!  Just signing up for this event was a huge step, if you gave it your best shot and  you are now here at the end of it, I'd  say some celebration is in order.  Even if your best shot wasn't what you gave - FORGIVE yourself and move forward!  The daily messages are posted here for your reference and you know how to reach me.  So just go for it and do this  (again and completely) when the time is right for you.

Consistency has been the principle creating the most challenge for people over the years so here are some additional thoughts about developing it in your life.

How can I start to be more consistent, in general?

I suggest the following:  pick a thing, any small action you can take on a daily basis for 21 days, and do it.  No excuses.  Just do it each day, preferably at a specific time.  Let it be simple and quick and easy. 

The real work will be in doing it regularly, so don’t make it any more challenging than it needs to be.  What you’ll be doing is building your consistency muscle.  As with any muscle, building it up requires regular, targeted activity.  A sense of rigor is required. 

Now here’s the dilemma…what you’re trying to develop(consistency)  IS what you need in order to be successful (consistency.)  It’s really another spiritual law…if you want a thing, you must give it, plant it or become it.  It’s called sowing what you’d like to reap.  So, if you want to reap consistency, sow it. 

How, you ask, can I sow a thing I do not have?  That’s just the thing, you do have it.  You do have the ability to be all you’d like to be right now.  It’s a matter of belief AND behavior to match the belief.  If you continue to think of yourself as an inconsistent person and you believe in your heart that’s what you are, that’s what you will remain.  If you believe yourself to be a consistent person who has been off track, following the wrong road signs BUT now you’re ready to claim your higher self, then that is what you will be. 

You sow consistency by having beliefs to support your new behavior of consistency.  Starting very small, you build a history of success with consistency in you life over short periods of time.  A certain level of confidence is necessary.  Armed with your beliefs you’ve got to carry yourself as a confidently consistent person would. 

During these periods of habit formation you must be rigorous with these expectations of yourself.  If not, you’ll just be reinforcing old bad habits. Be confident, be rigorous with your daily actions and expect consistency!

Don’t go into this 'simple' exercise casually.  Know and expect that there will be push back and many things will keep popping up to stop this habit of consistent behavior.  Have a plan for this and be gentle with yourself as you accept no half-stepping.  When you are successful with a small thing, move on to a slightly more challenging action.  The consistency muscle will grow.  It has to. You can do a similar type incremental muscle building exercise for each of the principles.  Consistency though is the one most people struggle with the most.

Putting these Five Basic Principles of forgiveness together as you think about what forgiveness really is will help you to understand forgiveness and to be forgiving.   It’s not just about looking at forgiveness from five different perspectives…you’ve got to see it from the complete perspective.  And that is, a full bodied understanding of forgiveness is the only way to truly forgive.   No one principle can be missing from the equation if you’re hoping to receive the benefits of forgiving someone.  

You do need to apply the five BASIC principles for that to happen.   Any part of it missing means the process is compromised. 

So check yourself with these principles. Here’s a quick checklist

1. □          I’m thinking from love about how to release this pain without hurting ANYONE
2. □          I’m trying to grow love and be rid of fear, completely
3. □          I’m telling the truth to myself, I feel completely honest
4. □          I’m telling the truth  about this memory and this person
5. □          I’ve tried to know as much as I can about forgiveness
6. □          I’m consciously trying to create the space in my life to get my work done
7. □          I’m creating new thoughts, solutions and ideas and even relationships 
8. □          I’m trying to be new in my approach to love and forgiveness
9. □          I want forgiveness to be a way of thinking and being - not something I give selectively
10. □          From now on, I will attempt to not be offended in the first place

If you can honestly check these 10 items or at the very least all the even numbers or all the odd numbers, with a desire to be able to check them all off, you’re applying the Five BASIC principles and as a result, forgiveness is going to happen for you at the highest and best.

If you are still struggling with these principles, spend a little extra time in quiet reflection and perhaps conversation with a trusted spiritual mentor or friend. 

Getting them, applying them and being them is key. 

As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”