Are You a Survivor? Here's the Checklist...

Posted by Julette Millien at 12/3/2008 11:35 AM
Categories: Surviving Sexual Abuse


For decades I walked around NOT knowing the source of my pains, numbness and general disconnect. 

This list gave me back my life. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse the innocence of my childhood was snatched. Later I felt robbed of my life; controlled chaos was my norm. 

When I came across this list, I began to get my life back.

Here's the thing.  KNOWING that you are not weird, "special" (NOT in a positive sense) or so badly damaged that you are in a class of one, is calming.

Knowing that symptoms manifest in a similar way for most people and that there is an EXPLANATION for why you do the things you do, is calming.

Knowing that you are part of a group of SURVIVORS (not victims) is calming. 

I know if I was stranded on an island, I would be jumping for joy if I found a family or group of people.  They might be  equally stranded but just their presence would be calming. (unless of course they wern't friendly)

So finding this list and the book Secret Survivors by Sue Blume gave me back my life.

I realized how normal I was and how damaged.  The light went on.  ..well maybe the light got brighter or better yet, maybe it's not the light but rather my eyesight that was corrected. 

Because as a person of faith I wasn't in complete darkness.  I was managing my pain...the light was on as far as the long term solution for peace. 

But I wasn't knowledgeable enough about the problem. I needed to know more about "why" and also, I needed to know (really know) I wasn't so weird or so bad. 

The things I  experienced were common enough to comprise a list! Somebody studied it and wrote a book about it!

I was immediately calmer! 

Why is "calm" so important?  Because you need to be calm to confront challenges and solve problems. 

Resolve, creativity and focus is needed to face deep and painful issues. You need to be calm.

So, if you have any lingering questions about why you do what you do, check out the list and see if you recognize your behaviors. 

Then, forgive yourself for not knowing earlier.  Time is never wasted. Guilt is not calming.  The healing process takes hard work, honesty and commitment.  There's no space for guilt.

Contact me here for further information and resources. 

And remember, what one human can do, ALL can do.   If I found peace, joy and love, so can you.

With Love,
Julette

 

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