I had a thought about writing this blog entry, then in a flash imagined this conversation :

How could there be no need for forgiveness? This must just be an attempt at clever headlines!

No, really it's not.  There is no need for forgiveness.  Forgiveness assumes offense.  It assumes that our 'feelings' were in some way hurt.

O.K. but that's the whole point, if someone hurts me, there IS a need for forgiveness.

Ah...look at your statement and pull out the one 2 letter word that makes that a conditional belief. 

What's the condition?

Well, there's if, me and is...I see, IF someone hurts me...what's your point?

The point is being hurt or not hurt is entirely up to you!  But true, IF someone hurts you, forgiveness is necessary.
There is no need for forgiveness IF and when you decide to NOT get offended by the things people do and say.

But, that's not real. I can't decide something like that, my feelings are real and sometimes there's pain when people are cruel, mean or offensive. Like if a friend betrays me or a co-worker ignores my value or a partner is dishonest...these things must cause pain. In these cases, I'd have to forgive them, no?

Well, yes you would have to forgive. BUT it's still your choice to "feel" betrayed, to "feel" ignored or to "feel" lied to.
Fact is, it is your choice.  What a person does is what they choose to do - it's PERCEIVED to be done TO YOU, but you can choose to not see it that way.

If you can decide ahead of time that the knuckleheads in traffic that will be in a rush and honking their horns like crazy will NOT bother you today because you don't want it to, it won't. 

If you decide to not give your power away to strangers, strangers won't annoy you. 
The question is why can't that same decision be made with family, friends and colleagues?

Hmmm, well, that is a question to ponder. Why would I give away my personal power to people who are closer to me?

That's something to think about.  For now though, I just want you to see that it is YOUR choice to be hurt.

I feel like I have no choice. But taking my feelings out of it, I can see how it's possible to reach the conclusion that's it's my choice. If I don't concede that, am I saying that I'm not in charge of me? I don't want to say that.

Exactly.  If you think of yourself advising someone else about their situation, it's easier to be more objective.  But then it really is necessary to apply those same conclusions and principles to ourselves. 

O.K. I'll be thinking about this perspective. No need for forgiveness IF I choose to not be offended by people's behavior...will definitely give that some thought.

After thinking about it, try letting it just be with you, without any real concentrated thought.  Sometimes it's good to just try something on, pretend it's part of you...

Will do.

GODOBE - my new word from friend Angie - Go, Do, Be.

In Light and With Love,
Julette
♥♥♥

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