Susan, Her Grudge and Her Dream Job

Posted by Julette Millien at 10/7/2008 10:13 AM
Categories: Real Stories Real Decisions


A client friend just called, frantically. (let's call her Mary) 

Her sister (let's call her Susan) is about to make the worse decision of her life - her words not mine.

Susan's  friend (let's call her Donna) emailed her about a job opportunity - her PERFECT job ( at a leading magazine, heading a division) - is one phone call away.  All she has to do is agree to have Donna call on her behalf.   Now, the decision maker called Donna asking for a referral!  All she has to do is respond with a name and that person is as good as in, assuming qualified.

The problem?  Susan had a bad college experience with a person on the magazine's team.  She's not sure she can swing the day-to-day team work. 

Of course I had to get some more details, to determine how to advise...I was being called to intervene and get reason to prevail.  Apparently this is, no joke, the perfect job for Susan. And she's not making a move (email came last week!)

Was this some sort of violation of principle or violation of any kind?  Well, no not really.  Was there violence involved?  Fear of safety...no.   What on earth was it?

Would you believe it's 'another woman' related??!!  Apparently Susan's college boyfriend wasn't as committed as Susan was and he had a couple other girlfriends...one of them being this person already on the magazine's team.

Susan and the woman have never been friends.  They just have the unfortunate experience of being hurt by the same man.  (Apparently it was a horrible scene when this was uncovered - just got the outline but it includes a dorm room, a closet, a notebook and a towel!)

So I'm being asked to PLEASE coach Susan through this block.  She and the college associate never had a conversation about the situation or even saw each other again.  They barely knew of each other before and was never in the same circles.  Oh and the boyfriend is now a local politician - seemingly happily married.

Does she pass up a dream job, dream life-style working for someone she adores from a distance and doing something she's been doing all her life so she can nurse an old wound?  Sad thing is Susan wants to pass on the opportunity!!  Hence the frantic phone call to me.

Well, I had to get permission  but I just had to share this example of how a lack of forgiveness can literally cost...money (LOTS), happiness and opportunity.

I'm hopeful that it'll work out with Susan as she did agree to meet us for lunch.  That's a good sign.  In the meanwhile she had better get on that phone and keep that opportunity brewing!

What would you do?

Are there things in your life right now that are stopping you from taking advantage of opportunities?

How would you advise Susan?

 

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